Adam and Eve
On the sixth of creation G-d created man. As soon as Adam was created, G-d immediately remarked that “It is not good for man to sit alone”(Genesis 2: 18) and proceeded to create Eve.
Immediately following the birth of Eve, the Torah gives us our first insight into marriage; “A man shall therefore leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2: 24)
In this verse the Torah sets forth the Jewish perspective of marriage. The purpose of marriage is to find a partner in life. Furthermore a spouse should not be just a partner, but rather someone with whom we can unite and become one flesh.
Before marriage, men and women are considered by the Torah to be incomplete. For they are missing half of their personhood, half of their potential and ultimately half of their very existence.
However, once they unite they have both found their missing half. The Torah enjoins them to continuously work on finding new depth in their unity. They cannot be satisfied until they have succeeded in becoming “one flesh”.
Once they have attained this level of unity there is no limit to what they can achieve. Together they can soar to the greatest heights, together they can climb to the greatest peaks and together they can overcome the greatest hurdles.
The Talmud teaches that if man and woman succeed in kindling their love for one another in their heart and their love for G-d in their soul, they will merit to see the presence of G-d in their home.
The Wedding Ceremony
The bride and groom are led to the Chupah (canopy). The groom enters under the canopy and then turns to welcome his bride. The welcoming ceremony is symbolic of the groom inviting his bride to enter his home and share his life.The Rabbi chants the benediction of betrothal over a full glass of wine and both bride and groom share some of the wine over which the benediction has been chanted.
The groom places a ring on the bride’s right pointer finger and recites the following words. “I betroth thee to me with this ring in accordance with the laws of Moses and Israel.”
In order for the betrothal to be Halachickly valid, it must be witnessed by two kosher witnesses, who are not related to either the bride or groom.
Following the betrothal ceremony, the marriage contract (which outlines the obligations between husband and wife, which is written and signed before the ceremony) is publicly read.
The seven wedding benedictions are then chanted over a second glass of wine. At the end of the ceremony, the bride and groom once more share some of the wine over which the benedictions have been chanted.
It is customary to break a small glass under the Chupah before the end of the ceremony. This is to remind us that until the holy Temple in Jerusalem is rebuilt our joy can never be complete.
The bride and groom must spend several moments together in private before they emerge greet their guests. These moments of privacy symbolically consummate the marriage and are extremely important to the integrity of the wedding.
Sheva Berachos – The Seven Benedictions
There are seven special blessings that are designated for wedding ceremonies and are chanted under the Chupah. One of the most beautiful Jewish traditions is to repeat these seven blessings for the first seven days following the marriage.During the first week after the wedding, family and friends gather every evening to celebrate with the newlyweds at a festive meal. The meals are concluded with the chanting of the seven benedictions over a full cup of wine.
A Panim Chadashos, newcomer who has not participated in either the wedding or any of the previous celebrations, must be present at every one of these meals. Without his participation the Benedictions may not be chanted because the ceremony is no longer novel for these who have previously attended.