The High Holiday liturgy often makes use of our Biblically prescribed designation as G-d’s children. We remind G-d of the natural love that fathers have for children and beg Him to see us in that light even if our behavior doesn’t reflect the love we have for Him.
In light of our preoccupation with children during this holy time I want to devote several lines to the importance of children. Having and raising children is life's our most important endeavor. If at the end of life you were asked about your proudest accomplishment, would you respond with the size of your business, the opulence of your home or the children you raised?
As we step back and reflect during this period of reflection we do well to ask ourselves if the time we devote to our children is consistent with the importance we attach to them. Do we spend more time with our children than with any other task in life? When we have extra time, do we spend it with the children or on the golf course? Do our children know that no matter how busy we are we will always set aside time when they call? Do our children know that no matter what they do we will always love them? Do our children know that no matter what trouble they face we will always support them? Most importantly, do our children know that no matter what it costs us we will always be there for them? Do they know that their interests always come first? That for example, being at a game or performance that is important to them is a higher priority to us than meeting a client?
The other side of this coin is how much do we know about them? Do we make it our business to know their friends? Do we offer guidance when we feel their friends mislead them? Do we chat with their teachers and have a strong idea of what goes on in their classroom? Do we know their hopes and plans for life? Do we know their fears and concerns? Do we know if someone has hurt or abused them? Do we know if they are involved in an addiction or obsession? Do we know how they spend their free time?
Here I don’t mean to ask if we are successful sleuths in our children’s lives. I am much more interested in asking whether our relationship with our children is such that they willingly, trustingly and lovingly share this information with us.
Conversely, do our children receive structure and guidelines from us? Do we offer discipline as well as love? Have we learned the delicate art of parenthood or have we become their friends? Because our children receive plenty of friendship from their friends, from us they need a parent.
Let us remember that what we do for our children will affect the rest of their lives. There is nothing that impacts us more than the treatment we receive from our parents in childhood. If we feared our parents in our youth we continue to fear them in adulthood. If we trusted and loved them as children we trust and love them as adults. The degree to which our parents trust us directly determines the extent of our self confidence and esteem.
We all know how much we were affected by our parents. Let us not forget how much we mean to our children.
In the coming year of 5752 let us resolve to be better parents. If your children are older, remember that it is never too late. If G-d has yet to grant you this precious blessing offer your love to another’s child – I don’t need to tell you how impactful such love, guidance, care and concern can be – to any child.
|
||||
|
Rabbi Lazer
Inner Stream
Subscribe for Notificatioins
Login
|
Wednesday, October 5
High Holiday Greeting 5772
by
Rabbi Lazer
on October 5, 2011 12:58PM (EDT)
Sunday, August 15
New Year Greeting: 5771
by
Rabbi Lazer
on August 15, 2010 10:04PM (EDT)
On November 7th of this year our community will join with communities across the world in a global day of learning; a showing of unity through the study and discussion of our common heritage. The event celebrates the conclusion of Rabbi Adin Steinzalt’s mammoth project, the translation and annotation of the Talmud. His efforts have opened the Talmud’s doors to all Jews regardless of background and education. In honor of this occasion, Jews the world over will join in the study of Torah and Talmudic ideas.
I want to focus on the unity aspect. My family and I moved to London in June of 2000. We found in London a wonderful and warm community; one that frequently comes together and crosses traditional barriers. We have three congregations in London, Orthodox, Conservative and Reform. I, for one, reject these labels. I prefer to say that we have three congregations in London, Jews, Jews and more Jews. Of course we have differences; who doesn’t. As the old saying goes, two Jews three opinions. Yet, we can all agree that we are joined at the hip even if at times our arms and torsos face in different directions. This community has been a wonderful model for cohesiveness and trans-factionalism. On November 7 we will join the global day of study with pride. We will be able to say, look to London; a trailblazer in Jewish unity. The larger cities have much to learn from our cozy and intimate group. At soul, heart and essence we are one. A family, with quibbles and squabbles; but a family nonetheless. We have only one father and He is in heaven. Here on earth, our spectrum is wide and sibling rivalry is often intense, but that is the nature of siblings. And siblings we are. As Hillel taught it, Ahavat Yisrael – love of a fellow Jew – is the primary principle of Torah; the rest is mere commentary. Chassidic teaching encourages us to see G-d in every Jew. G-d is the essence of every Jew. When we love our fellow Jew, we love the G-d in them. To accept each other without judgment is to accept G-d on His terms. On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur our thoughts are focused on G-d, but today I remind us that love of G-d is not possible without love for every one of His children; if even one child is rejected, the G-d in that child is rejected too. Let us make Ahavat Yisrael our personal challenge this year. It is easy to pay lip service to it; but the time has come to make it real. Let November 7 be not only a catalyst, but a celebration of success. Let us reach across the demarcation of congregation and embrace the Jew in every one of us. Let us not only talk about family; but act it. Let us learn to love. To love and truly love. Dear brother and sister, I wish you a Shanah Tovah and I know you wish the same for me.
Elul: A Rose Among Thorns
by
Rabbi Lazer
on August 15, 2010 09:53PM (EDT)
Why does the beautiful rose grow among the thorns and what can we learn from it? more »
Monday, September 21
New Year Greeting 5770
by
Rabbi Lazer
on September 21, 2009 01:02PM (EDT)
New Year Greeting 5770 more »
Saturday, October 4
New Year Greeting 5769
by
Rabbi Lazer
on October 4, 2008 10:14PM (EDT)
Cost of Energy in the New Year more »
|
|||
|
|
||||